the umbrella incident
by iwillseduceyouwithmyweirdness
Summary: Sherlock is bored and his brother is annoying him, what could be better than stealing Mycroft's umbrella?


It was another boring day at school. It hadn't even got to the first lesson and I had already been beaten up once. Today was not going to be a good day. But then again, I can't remember having a good day for a while. I walked down the hall hugging my most treasured possession _A Brief History Of Everything _by Stephen Hawking. It was the only thing that could catch my attention in this god forsaken place everything else was so _BORING!_ I hadn't turned up to my registration in the morning (as usual) and was hoping that soon I would have done enough to be permanently expelled. Mother and Father wouldn't approve but they never approved of anything that I did so it wouldn't make that much difference. Besides, Mycroft was already home schooled so it was hardly necessary for me to go to school.

I had maths first but I never learnt anything because it was all so easy. I could already do university level maths and I was only 11. It was hardly difficult anyway. As I entered the class (3 minutes early) I noticed that Miss tensed. I had once accidently revealed to the class that she was having an affair with one of the cleaners so she was slightly nervous of my deductions. I looked around the class trying to assess the best place to sit where I wouldn't be disturbed (the perks of being early I suppose). I chose the seat in the corner at the back, away from the window, here should be the least likely to be near the boisterous, childish kids who think that they are "cool". I had learnt that, if they could avoid it, people wouldn't sit near me unless they were told to by a teacher and even then they would be reluctant. I used this to my advantage. Sometimes I was thankful for not having friends, after all, I was a sociopath and I couldn't have friends.

Maths was thankfully uneventful. I wasn't disturbed at all which meant that I could go into my mind palace in peace. At break it got beaten up again for stating that one of the other boys in my year's father was having an affair. It was_ OBVIOUS _that he was! I got a detention for it but I never went to any of my detentions so it didn't really matter to me. I spent the rest of the 15 minutes in the boy's bathroom trying to stop the bruising that was appearing and spreading across my nose. I couldn't let my brother know that I had been hurt again; he seemed to care for some reason.

I walked into science about 10 minutes late. We were learning about the solar system which was an unnecessary thing to know so I got out my Bunsen burner and began to do my own experiments with hydrocarbons, much more interesting! 'Mr Holmes!' Called Sir from the front of the class, 'what are you doing? Will you please listen?'

_Ugh! Listening is boring! _I thought._ Let's see though…he's living alone, you can tell from the state of his shoes and the shaving foam behind his ear, easy, he has been smoking again for a while, God I could do with a smoke right now! He has obviously been single for a long time, judging by his hideous haircut but OH! Look he's got a date tonight; he doesn't normally wear those shoes to school. I doubt it will go well though, considering the fact that he has had a string of one night stands recently and has an atrocious body odour problem! _Sir's face had gone bright red and filled with rage. _Shit!_ I must have said it all out loud again. _How do I get out of this one? _

'GET OUT!' Sir yelled. There was no point arguing. I carefully turned off my Bunsen and placed the crude oil, petri dishes, pipettes and the burner back into my bag and left, calling behind me that I would go to the head's office and await him there.

Maybe I was wrong, today might be a good day. I could be leaving this hell hole!

On my way I checked the swelling on my nose, there was no way that I could hide this. The bruise was big and blackish-purple and the swelling was getting worse by the minute… maybe my nose was broken again.

I was kicked out by lunchtime; told not to come back. This was my chance! I was so happy until I thought of what Mycroft would say. He would be so disappointed in me. But then again, he had been expelled when he was my age too. However, he had not been bullied like me.

**So I had this idea the other day but I think that I want to make it a two or 3 part story. I am not sure what is going to happen or whether John will join Sherlock in his shenanigans or not. I would love to hear your thoughts on this so please review!**


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